staying out of that same damn hole!

i love this! i found it on someone elses blog. and i had to post it.


Autobiography in 5 Short Chapters
by Portia Nelson (written in 1977, copyrighted material)


I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.I fall in.I am lost .... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend that I don't see it.I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in this same place.
But, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.I still fall in ... it's a habit ...
but, my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

I walk down another street.

Divorce can be a form of child abuse

We have so many ‘at risk’ kids at my school. I want to say the right things to them and do the right things. I’d like to have one kid, someday, look back and say, “I could have ended up on the street, if it wasn’t for Mrs. W.” And, really, not cause I want any public recognition. In fact I would abhor it. But because I am at a point in my life where: I truly want to help these kids. Where: I have the time and the right frame of mind to be of some help. Whether they are rich or poor. I want to help the ones who….really need help.

And, after reading NicSheff and DavidSheff’s books and a lot of other people’s stories. and well, just about anything I can get my hands on….I THINK I can spot a kid in trouble more easily than some, even if he is still doing well in school and not a problem in class. YeT. Even if his parents aren’t [screwed up] children themselves, like so many seem to be.

Ack.

My point? I think, and I don’t mean to oversimplify the psychology of drug addictions at all – but I think that a whole, huge, percentage of kids who find themselves hopelessly, and fairly helplessly addicted to some substance are:

1. a child of a shitty divorce [Parents have a responsibility to their kids when they get divorced….they are suppose to be grownups but so many kids are so hurt in the process….usually much more than the adults involved]
2. a child that was sexually abused, physically abused, or mentally abused [this speaks for itself]

Those two things combined with a genetic intolerance of mind altering substances is a loaded gun for a lot of adolescents.

I know there are many stories to refute my theory. But I think teachers and other support staff in educational facilities have the responsibility NOT to placate parents of kids at risk. I think we, as educators, need to be more informed, and more honest with the parents. Too many teachers are afraid that the parents will be angry with them if they bring up a ‘sore’ subject. Or if they say something negative about a child.

ha. who the fuck cares. save the kid. It’s your job! Better to know you tried than to read the obituary in the paper a few years later.

Some parents just need a guiding hand. And who better than someone who is with their child 6,7, 8 hours a day. Teachers see the ‘real’ side of most kids. Parents only see what their kids WANT them to see.
I have seen so much pain. so many children who are in pain.
but way too many teachers and support personnel care about the ‘test scores’ and how they are judged as teachers/assistants than about the young psyche they are nurturing.

I believe in nurturing the whole child. Will it help? I don’t know.

I believe in confronting parents who suck. Will that help. Who knows?

I believe in, at the very least, being aware. Be aware of the ‘at risk’ kids in your class. They are not only the poor ones. They come in many shapes and sizes. Look into their lives, so that you CAN help. Don’t bury your head in the sand.

Stand up for those kids.

Will it help them fight drug addiction. Maybe. Will it open up some parents eyes. Maybe.

That’s all you can hope for. We as responsible adults in a fucked up education system…..need to give the kids hope. Hope that someone out there cares more about them than they care aboaut their own lives.

david bowie sells out, shit.

david bowie sold out to a Lincoln commercial????

what’s that all about? yuck.

ah. I don’t wanna know why.

It just makes you……..wonder.

this is ground control………….to major tom
~~~~~buy a Lincoln
~~~~~~cause we really need the cash…..
~~~~~put your helmets on…………
~~~~~just in case we crash…….
andmaygodslovebewithyou.

i live on the corner of Welfare and holdingmyhandout Ave.

This is a totally true conversation between a 3rd grader and teacher at my school:

Teacher: so, do you live with mom AND dad?

kiddie:; no, i live with my daddy
Teacher: where does your mom live?

kiddie: she lives on....ummmm....i think it's called....welfare

NO shit TOTally TRue

My school is in an affluent suburb of Rochester NY; My school is in the hidden area of the affluent suburb of Rochester NY; No one would believe that 50% of the children in my school get a free breakfast and lunch. No one ever addresses the problems in our school. because they don't fit in with the communities view of itself.

ack.
oh well. it was a funny conversation. ya gotta laugh!

God is a comedian?

"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
- Voltaire (1694-1778)


Is God a guy with two eyes, nose, mouth sitting on a cloud looking down on our world and determining what happens and to whom.

Is it some kind of invisible super power in the air that pulls and pushes us through our lives.

Is 'God' an alien presence from another galaxy that is much more evolved than our little earth.

Is it a parallel world that some of us more enlightened humans glimpse every once in while.

How does any one know what 'god' is. How do religious people say 'this is what it is and i know that for a fact' and 'anyone who doesn't agree with my thinking is wrong'. How do they know?

Is God just the word some early civilization made up for being 'good'.
For the good in us. the kind acts we do. the love we feel and give.

And if God is the word for 'good'. Then Satan must be the word that was made up for the 'evil' in people.

For where there is good, there is always evil. Ying and Yang.

People will quote different events that some people wrote down about a guy called Jesus. Only problem is the events are very contradictory. Some guys say one thing happened, others say something else. Years are missing. Some events are overlapping. A lot of this story of Jesus seems to be very fictionalized.

There is some truth to this story, i have no doubt. However, how and when did we humans, latch onto these stories and make such a BIG Business out of it.

Out of being good. kind. caring. loving.

I also have no doubt that we are not alone in these infinite skies. What else exists i have no idea. But c'mon. We can't be the only life form in ever, ever, ever.

And our brains. Ah. what a complex muscle. And some people can use it in such a more enlightened way than others. Some people can 'SEE' things.......does this have anything to do with a 'god'?

probably not.

a higher power? maybe. but not higher because it rules us. higher because it's a more evolved life form. maybe.

i don't know.
how does anyone know.

clarifying an important point

i was re-reading my last post and i wanted to clear up a point. i know that a lot of addicts want to live and want to get better and want to return to the land of the living. but i also know, just as many, just want to get thru the shit and get out on the street, especially the ones with lots of money to throw away, and want to get back to their 'same old' way of living. i do know that most have good intentions. they won't use this drug or that drug anymore. maybe they'll just have a glass of wine occaissionally. but they absolutely won't give up their life style. they absolutely do not want to change THAT much.

i was reading an article about addiction. and the part about how every addict has to hit rock bottom to recover. and then they WILL get better. however, even rock bottom for addicts has a trap door. in other words, there is no hard rock bottom.

so, what i'm correcting or clarifying in my last blog, is that i do not want to be insulting to the people who truly are trying to become real adult human beings, who are trying to grow up, who would like to contribute something to society, who have swallowed their pride and become humble. who have finally found a way to step out of their own skin and have found a way to help other people.

these addicts, recovering addicts, are to be (quietly) applauded for their strength.

the ones who use rehab as a club med. i think they should hook up with the nursing home patients and maybe they could learn something. or do some good. or, maybe, just maybe, they can find a way to really rehab.