Divorce can be a form of child abuse

We have so many ‘at risk’ kids at my school. I want to say the right things to them and do the right things. I’d like to have one kid, someday, look back and say, “I could have ended up on the street, if it wasn’t for Mrs. W.” And, really, not cause I want any public recognition. In fact I would abhor it. But because I am at a point in my life where: I truly want to help these kids. Where: I have the time and the right frame of mind to be of some help. Whether they are rich or poor. I want to help the ones who….really need help.

And, after reading NicSheff and DavidSheff’s books and a lot of other people’s stories. and well, just about anything I can get my hands on….I THINK I can spot a kid in trouble more easily than some, even if he is still doing well in school and not a problem in class. YeT. Even if his parents aren’t [screwed up] children themselves, like so many seem to be.

Ack.

My point? I think, and I don’t mean to oversimplify the psychology of drug addictions at all – but I think that a whole, huge, percentage of kids who find themselves hopelessly, and fairly helplessly addicted to some substance are:

1. a child of a shitty divorce [Parents have a responsibility to their kids when they get divorced….they are suppose to be grownups but so many kids are so hurt in the process….usually much more than the adults involved]
2. a child that was sexually abused, physically abused, or mentally abused [this speaks for itself]

Those two things combined with a genetic intolerance of mind altering substances is a loaded gun for a lot of adolescents.

I know there are many stories to refute my theory. But I think teachers and other support staff in educational facilities have the responsibility NOT to placate parents of kids at risk. I think we, as educators, need to be more informed, and more honest with the parents. Too many teachers are afraid that the parents will be angry with them if they bring up a ‘sore’ subject. Or if they say something negative about a child.

ha. who the fuck cares. save the kid. It’s your job! Better to know you tried than to read the obituary in the paper a few years later.

Some parents just need a guiding hand. And who better than someone who is with their child 6,7, 8 hours a day. Teachers see the ‘real’ side of most kids. Parents only see what their kids WANT them to see.
I have seen so much pain. so many children who are in pain.
but way too many teachers and support personnel care about the ‘test scores’ and how they are judged as teachers/assistants than about the young psyche they are nurturing.

I believe in nurturing the whole child. Will it help? I don’t know.

I believe in confronting parents who suck. Will that help. Who knows?

I believe in, at the very least, being aware. Be aware of the ‘at risk’ kids in your class. They are not only the poor ones. They come in many shapes and sizes. Look into their lives, so that you CAN help. Don’t bury your head in the sand.

Stand up for those kids.

Will it help them fight drug addiction. Maybe. Will it open up some parents eyes. Maybe.

That’s all you can hope for. We as responsible adults in a fucked up education system…..need to give the kids hope. Hope that someone out there cares more about them than they care aboaut their own lives.